Enjoying Ill Health

Guest post by Dianna Overholt

       I’ve just spent half a day in bed with a don’t-move headache. A no-lights, stomach-churning, over-the-eyes migraine.

       And I haven’t had such a heart-warming time in months.

       My husband served crackers and tea on the nightstand before leaving for work. “My head makes my stomach hurt,” I groaned, nibbling the saltines. “But I have to eat before taking the migraine pills! Please tell the children that I need to sleep for several hours.”

       With my youngest at age four, resting should be simple, nothing like past experiences of nursing a baby while throwing up.

       Through the dark and quiet walls come the rattle of cereal bowls and the clink of ice cubes. Grateful for my capable twelve-year-old, Angela, I find a position that creates the least pressure on my head.

       Screeech! Bang! The bedroom door lurches open, then shut. I wince.

       Angela approaches the bed with two drinking glasses: one of ice water, one of mango drink. “I’m sorry you’re sick, Mom,” she sympathizes. “Should I make coffee?”

       Screeech! Bang! Nine-year-old Lindsay arrives with a plate of delicacies: a brownie, four frozen blueberries, three frozen raspberries, and a tic tac.

       “Thank you, girls,” I smile weakly. They are wearing matching blue-flowered aprons. “Just leave them on the stand. I’m sorry, but I can’t eat right now.”

       They hover, anxious to serve. “Can we get you anything else? Do you want the fan on?”

       “That would be nice,” I reply, closing my eyes. “I really just need to sleep.”

       Ten quiet minutes elapse. My stomach is riding a stormy sea.

       Screeech! Bang! We really need to oil the door. Bare feet bound in, and two pairs of shining eyes beam over my bed. My little boys.

       “Mommy, I made a card for you!” Four-year-old Rodney bounces up. “Here, open it, Angela helped me make it.” He jumps up and down, up and down.

       Ooh, my head. “Rodney, please get off the bed.”

       The ancient card, picked from a garage-sale bundle, proclaims “With Sympathy”. With one eye open, I read the inside death-in-the-family sentiments framed with alphabet stickers. Suddenly Rodney yanks back the card. “This green sticker isn’t straight!” he cries. He peels it, and the card tears. “Now I need to make you another one,” he pouts, crumpling it.

       Richard’s is on lined notebook paper. In six-year-old wisdom he carefully penned, “Deer Mom, Plez get better soon. You are the best mom in the hole wurld. Can I have a cookie?”

       Screeech! Bang! We really, really need to oil the door. More get-well cards delivered. Lacy, flowered, purple ones with “Get well wishes especially for you!” (Those garage-sale cards were a wise investment.)

       “Dear Mom,” wrote Angela. “I hope you feel lots better quickly. You are a very nice mom and person to be around. I love you!”

       “To the most wonderful mother,” Lindsay’s begins. “I hope you feel better soon! Is there anything I can get you? I will be glad to get it if there is! You are the best mom I could ever wish to have. Thank you for being a great mom.” The corner exclaims, “You are the best mom in the world. You are a great mom.”

       I love redundancy.

       But I am experiencing an over-abundancy of noise and movement and little bodies. I try nicely thanking them for their cards while firmly stressing that no one should come into the room for one hour. They cheerfully troop out.

       I curl around a pillow, recalling my latest episode of caring for my two youngest energists…

       Christmas Eve, 10:20 p.m. One last check on the boys as they drifted off to sleep. Then I heard it. A groaning cry. “My tummy hurts!” Quickly guiding Richard into the bathroom, I ran for a bucket.

       In disbelief, I heard Rodney crying out. Just in time, I stuck the bucket under him. Within a minute, they’d both vomited. The stomach flu, no doubt.

       My husband’s face registered complete disbelief. I couldn’t help laughing. “If I’m going to stay up with one, I may as well stay up with two!”

       What a night: two boys and two buckets. Every 15-20 minutes I leaped up and grabbed one or both buckets. A well-synchronized pair, they always vomited within a minute or two of each other. Once I had a bucket held out in each hand.

       Poor little boys with faces white and tummies twisted. I lovingly patted their backs. I wiped faces, and offered sips of Sprite. My own stomach never once churned. With a book and a Bible beside me, I read, slept, jumped up, prayed, snoozed, jumped up, and repeated.

       My husband and two oldest children, squeamish and wide-awake, retreated to the farthest end of the house where they tried drowning out the acoustics.

       Occasionally my husband emerged to peak in. “I wish I could help,” he’d say, “But my own stomach is hurting.” His face would twist into a something-smells-awful look and he’d breathe, “You’re beautiful. You are so beautiful!” before quickly retreating.

       Activity finally ceased at 2:00 a.m.

    

       In the kitchen, dishes rattled and banged. The door remained closed. I felt myself drifting away.

       Then right outside my door:

       “PSALM 88.”

       It’s Lindsay. With loud and great expression she reads the entire psalm. “O Lord God of my salvation, I have cried day and night before thee:… for my soul is full of troubles: and my life draweth nigh unto the grave. I am as a man that hath no strength:… Thou hast put away mine acquaintance far from me;… thou hast made me an abomination unto them: I am shut up, and I cannot come forth. Mine eye mourneth by reason of affliction: Lord, I have called daily upon thee, I have stretched out my hands unto thee.”

       My eye was not only mourning by reason of affliction, it was weeping from laughter, and the love-warmth of children.

       (Later I discovered that Angela, knowing her sister greatly dislikes dishwashing, suggested that she’d wash while Lindsay read a Psalm. Lindsay had picked the Psalm at random.)

       Eventually I slept, eventually the pills worked, and I awoke with pain abated and a warm realization.

       The realization was that in the “normal” sicknesses of family life we’ve formed some  one-of-a-kind memories that cannot be created any other way. Difficult memories, tiring ones. But memories of support and care. Memories of being there for each other when we most need a loving touch.

       So I stand with a bucket outstretched in each hand and I say that almost I enjoy ill health.

       Almost.

~ Guest post by Dianna Overholt who is a Mennonite mother of five and author of Guiding the House, which is a delightful Home Organizer.  See our last giveaway for details.  

And here is the EXCITING announcement!  If you missed out on the giveaway, you can now get your very own copy HERE for only $9.95!  Don't miss it!

Reviews:

"I absolutely love this planner. It is keeping me more organized and love the different sections included in the planner..not just calendars but places to keep food inventory, bible verses to memorize, projects, and more. I will definitely purchase again. I'd recommend it to any SAHM / SAHW / or anyone wanting to keep track of sections it offers other than just the calendar portion."

"I am new to planning my days, but am already helped by using this. Everything I need to remember is kept in one place. The layout is great and the quotes are inspiring and helpful. Thank you Dianna for designing a wonderful planner!"

Also you can find more details at Dianna's site Guiding the House!

Cross Stitch Bookmark Birdhouse Chart

PDF File

This is my project today.  If I have figured out the PDF link correctly, you can access it too!

Cross stitching is something I used to do a lot of, and thankfully kept all of my patterns and thread because now our daughter really enjoys it and it is something that we enjoy doing together in front of the warm fire.  

I love creating these memories with her and the in depth conversations we have while we stitch away...

PRICELESS

Find this pattern and many others on my Needlework ~ Cross Stitch and Embroidery board.

Homemaker's Organizer Giveaway

This giveaway is now closed.  

Congratulations to Anne Kimball at Life on the Funny Farm, 

chosen from Random.org, for winning this incredible Homemaker's Organizer!

Thank you for all of your entries!  I had the most enjoyable time visiting everyone's websites!  

Be sure to click on the link below to purchase your own copy!

How I Love My Husband

On a scale from 1 to 10, how perfect do you think your husband is?

Mine?  I can't rate my husband on a scale because he's more than perfect.  

How is he more than perfect?  

Well, what qualities in a man do you think it would take to make the perfect man?

I can list several, but God has a better and more complete list than I do and God has given my husband to me, therefore, he is more perfect than I can humanly conceive.  

One of the greatest things that makes him SO perfect for me is that he isn't perfect, which goes hand in hand with the fact that I am FAR from perfect, so..... that makes him perfect for me!

Yes, he has humanly faults, BUT, I can name my faults in a greater number than I can his.  Does that keep me from getting frustrated at times?  Sadly, no.  Should I complain about my husband's faults?

No.

Never.

No matter what you hear from other women about their husbands ....

To speak bad about your husband to anyone, ever, is to tear down your own home.  Not to mention the scripture that speaks of whoever cast the first stone....  I have no room whatsoever to even be frustrated with my husband.  

He loves me with his whole heart and I never believed that to be humanly possible.

Me, with all my faults.  

Does he point them out to me?

No.

Never.

He loves me, encourages me, listens to me, prays for me and that makes him perfect.

THEREFORE:

I strive every day to remember this verse and to be this woman:

One thing that took me years to understand and truly grasp in our temporary society is this:

My marriage is THE MOST important thing to me in my life.

And here are a few of the ways I treasure it:

Source for 25 Prayers

Source

And never forget ...

Do you want your daughter/s to be a good wife?  I do.  

Do you want your son/s to know what a good wife looks like so that they can find one?  I do.

So what do I have to do? 

Be one.

How?

By God's grace and lots of prayer.

This is the one detail that has gotten me to where I am today and why I will be even better tomorrow...

To see other great quotes and encouragement see my Scripture, Created to be His Help Meet, Keeper of the Home, and A Peek Into My Faith boards on Pinterest.

If you have great Scripture, Quotes or tips that are special to you, please share them and/or a link to them in a comment!

Before You Meet Prince Charming

Some lessons are easy to learn, some lessons however, always seem to be just out of reach.  Those lessons that seem just out of reach usually pertain to life's lessons that we try to instill in our children according to scripture, but what our children continually see in today's society and sadly enough, our churches, continue to tear down the lesson we are trying so hard to bring home to our children.

Who Are You?

Who am I?  

The underlying question in everyone's life. 

You can get thousands of answers to this question from others in the world, especially from the ones who write all of the self help books telling us to build our self-esteem, manage our time better, set boundaries .... but those answers can be like a vapor in the wind just like our lives.  

The Glorious Advantages of Raw Milk

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One of the healthy new changes we have made in our home is the use of Raw Milk.  Glorious Raw Milk!!  Untouched by the human hand, in it's purest form as God intended it to be.  

Garden Bag and Heirloom Seed Giveaway

Be sure and head over to the Ozark Mountain Family Homestead to enter the giveaway for this wonderfully delightful Garden Bag and nine packages of Heirloom Seed!

What is your Apron Style?

Source

Aprons are a blessed thing.  Just putting one on can transform your mind set as a keeper of the home.  

In my experience, depending on which collar we put on our dog, he will know what is expected of him. If we put on his training collar, he knows its time to learn.  The same goes for our horse.  When she has her show bridle put on, she knows it and she carries her head higher and there is a new spring in her step.

Source

TO MAKE A HOME

To make a home I need a heart 

That knows the power of love's fine art.

A heart that dares defy all wrong

And opens wide it's door to song.

To make a home I need a smile 

And inward faith for every trial;

I need a hope, I need a dream

That in all darkness casts it's gleam.

To make a home I need to pray,

I need the Bible to show the way,

I need a church, a hallowed place

Where I may seek for peace and grace.

To make a home I need a soul

That faces toward the highest goal,

Surrendered as life's way I plod

to make a home I must have God!

~Selected~

Organizing Our Minds, Hearts and Homes

Have you ever truly noticed the exact order of the center of a sunflower?  

Notice how there are two mesmerizing patterns of two opposite spirals?  Each floret is generally oriented toward the next by approximately the "golden" angle of 137.5 degrees, producing a pattern of interconnecting spirals where the number of left spirals and the number of right spirals are successive.  Typically, there are 34 spirals in one direction and 55 in the other.  On a very large sunflower there could be 89 in one direction and 144 in the other. 

Pretty thought provoking?   Each time I discover facts like these, it affirms to me that our God is a God of order.

The entire universe has a specific order, so why don't I?  This is my current conviction.  I do not suffer from feeling like I have no purpose.  I have a pretty good grasp on God's plan for my life during this season.  Many things continue to change, but the foundation of who I am as a help meet, a mother, a daughter, a friend and a mentor remain the same.  What's weighing on me is  "How can I do it better"?

Christmas Baking List

Christmas Cutout Cookies

Aren't these beautiful?  Occasionally, I wish mine looked like these.  Everyone always says that practice makes perfect and I've been making these for over 30+ years and have never had them come out this pretty!  Oh well, maybe if I was a perfectionist it would really matter to me.  The most beautiful cookies I know of are the ones my children and grandchildren make.  Those are the ones that have broken edges, too much icing and tons of sprinkles on them, but they portray love and laughter and family!

Sewing Ideas

The idea of sewing brings to mind images of such beautiful, dainty and resourceful women sitting in their parlors wisely using quiet hours of the day to clothe their families.  My reality of sewing is something more like a tornado has swept through my sewing room with patterns and fabric stretched all over the table, while the rest of the area is dotted with measuring tape, spools and bobbins of thread, and any other immediate sewing tool I might need.

Thanksgiving and Thankfulness

As wives and mothers, we set the mood of our home.  With the rush of the season, the preparation, the cooking, the gathering....there is so much for us to wrap our minds around, I tend to neglect the decorating, which leaves our home a bit sparse looking.

I'm not one for store bought clutter, not even for special occasions, but I do love a beautifully set table and handmade decorations.  This is where Pinterest.com comes in.  It is my new found right hand.  Coming up with ideas on my own isn't my specialty, but give me a picture and instructions and I'm all set.  I can find things that fit my very own taste and then go to the website with instructions so easily that I have more crafts on my list to do than I'll ever have time for.

Like Golden Apples...

This was shared on my Facebook this morning and I felt it was good enough to share here.....

Teaching our Daughters the Difference

 "We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between a man who flatters her - and a man who compliments her. 

A man who spends money on her - and a man who invests in her. 

A man who views her as property - and a man who views her properly. 

A man who lusts after her - and a man who loves her. 

A man who believes he is God's gift to women - and a man who remembers a woman was God's gift to man...

And then teach our boys to be that kind of a man."

~Unknown

Life as a Keeper of the Home

Labor Day weekend came as a huge relief for me, not due to some huge free for all at the lake on a boat (although there is nothing wrong with that), but because I was finally able to catch up on some of the canning I needed to do.  We've spent so much time working in the garden and at the Farmer's Market, I haven't had any time at home long enough to get some canning done.  

You see, for some time now, I have felt the pull to create some sort of cottage industry, but could never really put my finger on what it should be.  One of my favorite things to do is to grow organic heirloom vegetable plants.  The garden is my sanctuary.  It is where I

Our Modest Taste of Dressing

To follow up on my previous post, I would first like to say that I write from my heart......my human heart.  I am not the most eloquent with words and may not speak with love and gentleness all the time.  This blog is strictly my opinion, in which will hopefully give support to the many women who are having the same struggles that I am having.......I do realize there are going to be women who come across my posts and think I am attempting to gather flies with vinegar instead of honey.....that isn't the case.  As my Pastor says, when we speak truth of scripture, people who are not in line with that scripture will want to shoot the messenger. 

It has also been brought to my attention that there are other ways to dress than what I mentioned.  I agree, there are many other ways of dressing, ways of dressing according to the world.  The question is, are you dressing in a way that honors God? 

The choices we have made for our family, about how we dress, is between God and us.  I am not here to "push" it on anyone else, that is between God and them.  We dress in a very "prairie" way because that is our taste.  As each woman begins to turn her heart towards dressing modestly, she will begin her own journey.  As a Christian we grow into our own faith, our faith may not look like the faith of our parents....meaning maybe your parents are missionaries and you are not being called as a missionary, but as a writer.  God has called each of us for a different purpose with one goal.  Likewise, our own sense of modesty will be different from one anothers, but should prayerfully be towards one goal.....to honor God.

In saying all of that.....here are some pictures that illustrates our way of dressing.  Since I am usually the one behind the camera, there aren't any pictures of me but my daughter and I dress in the same manner.

The above skirt is one that can be worn with a pretty blouse, sweater.... we both have this style of skirt.

The above jumper is a chore dress for working in the garden, the pasture, with the livestock....

The above dress is worn for church and for town.

 

The above dress is strictly worn as a chore dress around the farm.....it has gotten more snug than we care for and now is worn with a shirt over it.  Since the skirt is a great skirt, it will soon be made into just a skirt or with a new bodice if I can find the time with planting season coming on fast.

This is a picture I was able to catch a few years ago when our grand daughter was visiting.  It shows how different our dress was then compared to now.  Now, we would never show that much skin on our arms, not only for modest reasons, but also for reasons of sun exposure.

If you have already been blessed by knowing who Stacy McDonald is....here is a bit of her writing on scriptural modesty.  Below is a link to her whole text.

We as women love to adorn ourselves. Before redemption, many of us “adorned” ourselves in provocative clothing that was purposely intended to entice and seduce men. Some may have adorned themselves in costly jewelry or expensive clothing to pridefully flaunt their wealth or status to others. How does God say we should “adorn” ourselves? “In modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…” We must honestly ask ourselves (and our husbands!) if this describes our current wardrobe. The Christian woman should not be "focused" on outward appearance. Men are attracted to the female form. If we´re showing ours off, purposely or not, we´re not being modest! Shorts show off legs. Plain and simple. Tight or low blouses show off other things. Pants can also show off the crotch area and the bottom. (I don't know how to say that more politely!) 

Please see the whole text at "Let's Talk Modesty".

I would like to thank you for all of your supportive comments, sometimes we feel so alone as we make this journey and it is SUCH a blessing to hear from others who rally around us, letting us know we are on the right path.  What is SO frustrating is standing in the midst of other professed Christian women that give us so much grief due to our choice to dress modestly.  There have been times, in church, where we are almost verbally attacked because we choose to dress differently and for some reason it offends some other women.  I truly believe that most of the comments and questions are due to curiosity, but most are never said with love and gentleness. 

There is the occasional comical discussion where someone attempts to "liberate" my way of thinking.  They will literally take it upon themselves to feel the need to free my "legalistic" ways.  As if I truly believe that if I dress "holy" enough, that will gain me my salvation.  It is interesting when after I patiently listen to all that they have to say and I respond softly with answers to why we dress the way that we dress, backing it up with scripture, reassuring them that it is something we do to honor God and not to work our way into His good graces, they listen whole-heartedly. 

One of the many things I have learned is when I step out, voicing my convictions and testimony, it gives others the strength to follow.  Never underestimate your ability to speak truth into someone's life!  Your voice may be used by God to say just the right thing to the one person who is waiting to hear it!

Raising a Maiden of Virtue / Being a Godly Woman

 There are so many paths I could take with this issue, but what has recently been on my heart is the behavior of a Godly woman.  What does the demeanor, attitude and behavior of a Godly woman look like?  In being a keeper of the home and raising our daughter to be a keeper of the home, this issue has come before me time and time again and it is something I cannot ignore.  So how are we supposed to act?

Our daughters reflect who we are.  If my daughter displays a behavior that doesn't seem quite right, I usually don't have far to look in order to find where she learned it.  Nothing besides the good Lord and His Word, has had more influence on who I am today as that single fact has.  So when it comes to my attention that our daughter is not displaying the proper character qualities of a Godly young woman, it is usually because I am not demonstrating it.  I never have to look very far, lol.  Even so, it is a wake up call for me.

When I need to learn something, I search high and low for the information.  I was thrilled to find some solid, biblical teaching with two different books....'Raising Maidens of Virtue' by Stacy McDonald' and 'So Much More' by Anna Sofia Botkin and Elizabeth Botkin.  I highly recommend both of them to anyone raising daughters.  Also, there is a great CD called 'What's A Girl to Do' How to Wisely Invest Your Daughter's Time by Douglas Phillips.  These are excellent resources!

One thing I have learned, (which should be common sense, but usually I have to have things spelled out for me), is that our actions are simply a reflection of our heart and spirit.  If we have a rebellious and discontent spirit, it will be obvious in our behavior, our carriage and our speech.  A boisterous, tomboyish, masculine spirit will also come out in many ways for everyone to see.  Is this the picture of a Godly woman?

In Psalms we find some answers...  "....that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.." Psalm 144:12  Our daughters are to be beautifying, supportive, and hospitable within her father's palace and outside her walls, she is to be an ambassador, representative, and .....'as arrows are in the hand of a mighty man'...Psalm 127:5.  Of course as wives, we are to be this for our husbands.  Through our behavior, carriage and demeanor, we should not leave any doubt to anyone that we are submitted to our father or husbands protection, the daughters of a king, a princess worthy of honor.

I can tell you right now, that this does not describe me at all.  I am Irish.  I am head strong, strong willed, loud boisterous and at times I'm sure I can be undignified.  I can be too casual, too bold, too strong,...do you get the picture?  I used to buy the whole feminism lie, lock stock and barrel.  It drove me into the ground.  God created women to be women!  Not men!  Yes there are many similarities, but HUGE differences!  Once I learned this little fact, I have found that I love being a woman.  I love being a keeper of the home.  I love having the protection of my husband.  Why did I waste so much time of my life trying to prove that I was who the world said they wanted me to be only to find out it was never good enough and that no one really cared anyway?  God cared, because when I had finally reached the end of me......I found Him.  He was waiting for me all along.  So now, I am relearning how to be a woman as God created me.

So here is the question again.  How are we supposed to act?  Over and over again I keep coming across this picture of a Godly woman.  She radiates dignity, regal serenity, respectfulness, grace, a gentle and quiet voice, poise, discretion, self-command, sincerity, peace, compassion, cheerfulness and humility.  She stands out as a woman of quality.  She displays the magnitude of God's grace by showing how our crude, unrefined behavior becomes gentle and quiet.  This is my goal, by the grace of God.

These qualities are a lot to grasp, so I looked each one of them up in the dictionary and here is how they are described:

Dignity:  The quality or condition of being esteemed, honored, or worthy.  Self-esteem, poise.  Stately reserve in appearance and demeanor.  The respect and honor associated with an important position.

Regal:  Relating to a monarch: royal.  Of great magnificence.
Serenity:  Peaceful, tranquil.

Respectfulness:  To feel or show regard (esteem) for  Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.  Polite expressions of consideration.

Grace:  Apparently effortless charm or beauty of movement, form, or proportion.  A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.  A disposition to be generous or helpful (good will).

A gentle and quite voice:    I think this is self explanatory.

Poise:  To hold or carry in balance.  To be balanced or held stable.  Not awkward or embarrassed.


Discretion:  Having or displaying a judicious reserve in one's speech or conduct.  Prudent.  Lacking pretension or ostentation...modest.  The quality of being discreet.


Self-Command:  Self-control.  Control one's feelings, desires, or actions by one's own will.

Sincerity:  Presenting no false appearance;  honest.  Pure.

Peace:  Freedom from quarrels or disagreements.  Inner contentment:  serenity.  Free from strife.  To be silent.

Compassion:  Sympathetic concern for the suffering of another, together with the inclination to give aid or support or to show mercy.

Cheerfulness:  JOY  Being in good spirits: happy.  Exhibiting good spirits.  Producing good spirits.  Willing:  good-humored.


Humility:  The quality or condition of being humble.  Characterized by modesty or or meekness in behavior, attitude, or spirit.  Exhibiting submissive respect.


Meekness:  Exhibiting humility and patience:  gentle.

Can you  picture your daughter radiating these qualities?  To picture our daughter exhibiting these qualities brings a smile to face and a warming of my heart.  How can I teach these qualities to her?  By demonstrating them myself.  My daughter and I have compiled a list of these qualities with their descriptions and have began to direct our hearts in this manner.  It is not an easy process, but I have faith that we will succeed.  God has turned our faces and our hearts to this matter, which I have found is a direct indication that He means for me to get to work on it. :o)  I am but a servant, but I rock the hand of the cradle of the future.  God has given me a very small window of time to write His laws on our daughter's heart and it must be done with purpose, diligently.  God sets nothing before us that He will not strengthen us for nor forsake us as we journey through it.  So I am absolutely convinced that these Godly character qualities can be achieved!.....Pray for me!

A Wife's Calling

Last Sunday our pastor preached on Ephesians 5 and he stated something that was very thought provoking for me.  That if we do what we have been called to do in being submissive to our husbands, God will honor us for it.  1 Peter 3:1 talks about if our husbands do not obey the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.  If we follow this, God can work in our husbands lives.

Some women are afraid of being run over if they are submissive, but in fact, they will be honored which could be the saving of a husband or developing things within the husband that you could never achieve on your own.  When we follow the Word of God, we don't need to worry about these things, because we know that He will take care of it. 1 Peter 3:5-6.

The long and short of it is, if we are submissive and conduct ourselves properly, our husbands will benefit much more than what we could ever do with our words and behavior.  Follow the Word and God will honor us for it by your husband being blessed for it.  We can't change our husbands, but God can change us.  Being submissive to our husbands doesn't diminish us, it brings peace to our home and protects the home.

The relationship between a husband and a wife was designed by God to be intimate, not subject to commands by a spouse.  A husband and wife are partners for life, lovers and best friends.  If we follow God's Word and submit to our own husbands, as to the Lord, God will deal with our husbands.  So if I follow what God tells me to do and not nag my husband about fixing the tire, and I get stranded on the side of the highway.......as long as I conduct myself in the manner that God calls me to, God will honor me and deal with my husband.   That's a very freeing concept.   My husband is God's responsibility as long as I follow God's Word.   If I take the responsibility upon myself by nagging my husband and when I get stranded on the side of the highway I berate him in whatever manner I see fit, I lose... and have worked myself into a frenzy in the process.  Hmmmmm.....I think I'd rather let God be responsible, the process and outcome is not only much easier, but much more rewarding.

A wise woman builds her house....if we belittle our husbands, we are tearing down our home by tearing down our marriage.  Our pastor states that men are incredibly insecure creatures and the opinion of a wife matters a lot.  If a man can't get his wife to respect him...he feels like an absolute failure because she knows him best.  That is why we need to respect our husband until he is respectable.  A lot of men live on the confidence that is instilled in them by their wife.

1 Peter 3:4 talks about letting our adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.  A Godly woman understands that ultimately it is her character, not her clothing that makes her beautiful. Maybe what Peter is saying is that we need to take 30 minutes off of our hair and put it on our heart because that is where true beauty is found.  More time on our heart gives us wisdom and guidance in our relationship with our husband.

Submission: The divine calling of a wife is to voluntarily respect her husband and affirm his leadership in their marriage and home.

Headship: The divine calling of a husband is to take primary responsibility for the Christ-like servant leadership, protection and provision in the home.

And when the wife affirms her husband...and the husband takes responsibility to be a Christ-like servant leader....what happens is, the roles are carried out with such love that the authority and the submission, while existing, are almost invisible.

Learning this and practicing it has been like a weight taken off of my shoulders.  And yes, it is a daily choice.  Sometimes it is a minute to minute choice when it comes  to biting my tongue.  I am a very strong and independent woman (and my husband is an extremely patient man) and I struggle with becoming gentle and meek as God calls me to do, but I am making progress and have already seen the rewards!  One thing I am learning is that it takes a strong (not tough) woman to be kind, gentle and submissive.  Being submissive does not mean being weak, it takes much strength and I feel myself getting stronger each day.  It is a very worthwhile cause and I am excited to continue down the path I have been called to follow!