Last Sunday our pastor preached on Ephesians 5 and he stated something that was very thought provoking for me. That if we do what we have been called to do in being submissive to our husbands, God will honor us for it. 1 Peter 3:1 talks about if our husbands do not obey the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. If we follow this, God can work in our husbands lives.
Some women are afraid of being run over if they are submissive, but in fact, they will be honored which could be the saving of a husband or developing things within the husband that you could never achieve on your own. When we follow the Word of God, we don't need to worry about these things, because we know that He will take care of it. 1 Peter 3:5-6.
The long and short of it is, if we are submissive and conduct ourselves properly, our husbands will benefit much more than what we could ever do with our words and behavior. Follow the Word and God will honor us for it by your husband being blessed for it. We can't change our husbands, but God can change us. Being submissive to our husbands doesn't diminish us, it brings peace to our home and protects the home.
The relationship between a husband and a wife was designed by God to be intimate, not subject to commands by a spouse. A husband and wife are partners for life, lovers and best friends. If we follow God's Word and submit to our own husbands, as to the Lord, God will deal with our husbands. So if I follow what God tells me to do and not nag my husband about fixing the tire, and I get stranded on the side of the highway.......as long as I conduct myself in the manner that God calls me to, God will honor me and deal with my husband. That's a very freeing concept. My husband is God's responsibility as long as I follow God's Word. If I take the responsibility upon myself by nagging my husband and when I get stranded on the side of the highway I berate him in whatever manner I see fit, I lose... and have worked myself into a frenzy in the process. Hmmmmm.....I think I'd rather let God be responsible, the process and outcome is not only much easier, but much more rewarding.
A wise woman builds her house....if we belittle our husbands, we are tearing down our home by tearing down our marriage. Our pastor states that men are incredibly insecure creatures and the opinion of a wife matters a lot. If a man can't get his wife to respect him...he feels like an absolute failure because she knows him best. That is why we need to respect our husband until he is respectable. A lot of men live on the confidence that is instilled in them by their wife.
1 Peter 3:4 talks about letting our adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. A Godly woman understands that ultimately it is her character, not her clothing that makes her beautiful. Maybe what Peter is saying is that we need to take 30 minutes off of our hair and put it on our heart because that is where true beauty is found. More time on our heart gives us wisdom and guidance in our relationship with our husband.
Submission: The divine calling of a wife is to voluntarily respect her husband and affirm his leadership in their marriage and home.
Headship: The divine calling of a husband is to take primary responsibility for the Christ-like servant leadership, protection and provision in the home.
And when the wife affirms her husband...and the husband takes responsibility to be a Christ-like servant leader....what happens is, the roles are carried out with such love that the authority and the submission, while existing, are almost invisible.
Learning this and practicing it has been like a weight taken off of my shoulders. And yes, it is a daily choice. Sometimes it is a minute to minute choice when it comes to biting my tongue. I am a very strong and independent woman (and my husband is an extremely patient man) and I struggle with becoming gentle and meek as God calls me to do, but I am making progress and have already seen the rewards! One thing I am learning is that it takes a strong (not tough) woman to be kind, gentle and submissive. Being submissive does not mean being weak, it takes much strength and I feel myself getting stronger each day. It is a very worthwhile cause and I am excited to continue down the path I have been called to follow!