Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Dressing to Honor God

I have been silent on this matter for long enough.  My heart can remain silent no longer.  My daughter and I wear dresses 99% of the time unless we are riding a horse.  Wearing dresses most of the time has been a gradual process.  I didn't wake up one day and throw everything out only to restock our closets with "modest" clothing.  This issue is something that I have wrestled with God about and He has been gracious to bless me with a Godly perspective on the differences of dressing modestly.

It seems there are several views on how females should dress.

The first and most popular way to dress is to follow worldly fashion with all of its glitz and glam, showing as much skin as possible.  Whatever it takes to catch someones eye and to create the illusion that one is wealthy according to what is in their closet.  Years ago, I was in this category.....sadly enough.  As I mentioned previously, this has been a long process for me.  Even sadder is the fact that this way of dressing is devouring our churches and "Gods People".

The second way of dressing is to follow worldly fashion with all of its glitz and glam, not necessarily showing cleavage or tummy's or thighs.....this style is the skin tight jeans and shirts that might fit a five year old, but a well endowed grown woman is wearing them.  These styles are the ones that leave nothing to the imagination, not one single curve.  What is today's solution to panty lines?  Is it to not wear your clothing too tight?  No, its to change to underclothes that show no lines.  This way of dressing, sadly enough, is also running rampant through our churches today.  This way of dressing fools women into thinking they are dressing modestly due to the fact that they are covered from the neck to below the knees, but the clothes are so extremely form fitting, that skin doesn't have to be showing for men to know exactly how the woman would appear naked. 

A third way of dressing is in a Godly manner, one that honors God by protecting our body and protecting our "brothers in Christ" by wearing clothes that do not attract attention away from being seen as a Godly woman.  As women, we can be biblically modest and feminine without looking like worldly women.  God calls for us to be set apart. We represent Christ and the body of Christ, it breaks my heart to see "Christian" women portraying Christ by dressing in a very provocative way.  It takes a very strong woman to not follow worldly fashions and it begins with the first step.  Seeing it for what it truly is.  When the world looks at us, what do they see?  Do they see another flashy, fashionable woman that is imitating what is splashed all over the TV and magazines and is walking around as a slave to the fashion industry?  Or do they see a well dressed, feminine and beautiful Godly woman that portrays Christ and honors God with her modesty?

 I love wearing dresses, I love to honor God in how I dress and how our daughter dresses.  This is my heart.  Like I mentioned before, it has taken me several years to get to this point, but I am grateful to God for putting my heart through the fire on this subject.  I know where my heart was and how insecure I was when I dressed immodestly.  Now I can't even stand to have writing on my shirts, I refuse to be a billboard for anyone and to draw attention to my chest.  My body is the temple of God, and a God given gift to my husband.  For me to walk around drawing attention to it would disrespect God, disrespect my husband and disrespect myself.

This journey has been very interesting, especially as I go through bins full of clothes we don't wear anymore.  I look at them and think, WOW, I can't believe I ever wore such trash.  Lots of it I have burned instead of donated because I don't want anyone else wearing it either.  Cleaning those clothes out of my house and out of my life was invigorating!  It made a BOLD statement to the "fashion industry" that I wasn't their slave any longer.

So what do we do for clothes?  We sew!!!  We have searched high and low for great patterns and ideas and believe it or not, you can make some of the most beautiful clothing you have ever owned or purchase it custom made for you if you look in the right places.  These things will not be found in any store.....certainly not Wal-Mart.  If you want you or your daughters to look like a prostitute go clothes shopping at Wal-Mart or your local mall (I realize this statement is very strong and not true 100% of the time, however I am always frustrated beyond words when trying to find anything modest in the clothing department there and have quit going altogether for several reasons.  And for those of you wanting to persecute me for being hyper modest, please find someone more worthy of your attention.)  Otherwise learn to sew or search for modest clothing.  There are great sites online for this.  One main site is The King's Daughters.  You can purchase custom made clothing with a variety of fabric choices and you can also purchase patterns.  If you do an online search for "modest clothing", you will be successful in your search.  The first step is to change your perspective, the next step is to change your way of dress to a way that honors God.  God will help you all you have to do is ask for wisdom.  Ask Him to show you His heart on this subject.  That's where I began my journey.

Now I realize that to many women, these are fighting words, but read this quote from Peter Marshall:

I believe women come nearer fulfilling their God-given function in the home than anywhere else. It is a much nobler thing to be a good wife than to be Miss America. It is a greater achievement to establish a Christian home than it is to produce a second-rate novel filled with filth. It is a far, far better thing in the realm of morals to be old-fashioned than to be ultramodern. The world has enough women who know how to hold their cocktails, who have lost all their illusions and their faith. The world has enough women who know how to be smart. It needs women who are willing to be simple. The world has enough women who know how to be brilliant. It needs some who will be brave. The world has enough women who are popular. It needs more who are pure. We need woman, and men, too, who would rather be morally right that socially correct.

This opens up discussion for many topics, most of which have to do with feminism.  I do not have the proper words to firmly state how I believe that the rise of feminism has been the death of the family and is corrupting our churches, however, this is not what this post is about.  For more on the feminism topic, please see the wonderful site of Ladies Against Feminism.

There are some terrific articles on femininity and modesty at Promoting Womanhood. 

This path of honoring God through our dress is not an easy one, it is not for the weak hearted or weak of mind.  Just this Sunday, I was approached at church by another mother.  Our daughters were participating in a song during service and the dress requirement was a white shirt and dark pants.  We obviously do not normally wear pants, and we absolutely refuse to wear them to church.  This other mother approached me with the understanding/assumption that our daughter wasn't going to be able to participate because she didn't have any jeans.  I assured her that our daughter was participating, but the conservation was a bit shocking and hurtful and her demeanor was one of pity.  I held my tongue quite frankly because I was shocked that this mother couldn't even conceive of daughters dressing in a way other than jeans and a T-shirt on a Sunday morning and that to not allow your daughter to dress this way was subjecting them to feeling rejected from the main stream.  My first reaction was shock, than I even felt angry and hurt.  I have to continually remind myself that this journey of modesty is between me and God and that we are all at different stages in our walk with God and that the topics God is convicting me on are different topics for others.  I am not here to judge others or what they think of our family, I am here to be a light and to represent Christ and to take courage in where the Lord is leading us.  If I cave in to what the world says I should dress like, what am I going to tell my Father in Heaven?    


  1. Beautiful post! I started wearing skirts/dresses only in Sept. ~ my conviction. One of my daughters is 1/2 way there and the other is 3/4 of the way there. At their ages ~ almost 15 & 18, I want it to be their convictions and not because Mom does. I do feel they need to make their decisions and their convictions will be stronger if they are theirs and not just mine. I've found some great skirts that I can wear with shirts I already had and look modest. My husband loves it and is please with everything. But it was my conviction to start with and not anything he requested ~ but after the discussion and my reasons, he totally agreed.

  2. Thank you Donna :o) I have been hesitant to post on this issue because I am not the most eloquent with words as others who have such a gentle, loving way of speaking on such topics. I too began wearing dresses due to my own convictions and not at my husbands request, however, I do believe that as the leader of the home, if a husband asks his wife to stop wearing certain clothes, she should not only stop wearing them, she should get rid of them. My daughter and I fully trust my husbands judgement as to what is appropriate or not because he sees through the eyes of a man and he knows how most men see things. I have been blessed to have started this journey while our daughter is still at a young age and eagerly follows the direction of her mother. To have daughters at the age yours are, and to have them respond to this issue favorably, says so much about your relationship with them. I couldn't imagine starting from scratch with teenagers. Praise God you have a supporting husband! What a blessing! Thank you for sharing with me and welcome to my blog!

  3. Sharon, Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this needful but delicate subject. It has been almost ten years since I began to wear only dresses/skirts. None of my homeschooling friends nor any of the ladies at church feel similarly convicted, although they would not be seen at church on Sunday in anything else. Sometimes I feel confused by others choices but still know that, because of the knowledge the Lord has given me, I am doing what I need to obey him.
    Thank you again and I look forward to browsing through the rest of you blog!

  4. I totally agree! I have worn dresses/skirts most of my life, as my Mom was convicted in this when I was 9. After having several children I realized the great need for more modest maternity and women's clothing, and started my own business making custom made maternity and women's skirts. It is such a blessing to help other ladies who cannot sew!


  5. Well, you already know how I feel about this! :) Great, great post. Well said and 100% agreed my friend! :) --S

  6. Amen sister! Please continue to speak out, as many of us are finally doing so. God is moving here! I would love for you to go to my blog and read my dress only testimony from a month or so ago.
    www.createdforman.blogspot.com It seems we are quite likeminded. We just purchased the vision forum reclaiming our culture and LOVE the vision. AMEN AMEN< The Unliberated Woman ( Jodi)

  7. Thank you so much for all of your support! I know I am not alone as we walk through this together! Praise God for bringing us together through His vision that He has given to us!

  8. Hello. I appriciate this post. I grew up a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal and was instructed to wear a dress/skirt on the first day of school only. My jeans were never skin tight unless they were under my band uniform, and then the shirt I put on with them went almost to my knees after the paraide or turnament. I started making my own skirts about 11 years ago. I had one pattern that I really liked. Here rescently I have been vneturing out to dresses and have yet to find one that I truly enjoy. My Mum (mother-in-law) taught me to sew and read patterns. I am thankful she is always a phone call away when I come upon a problem with enlarging a pattern I already have or changing it up a bit. *smile* We have a son and a duaghter and I get a little bit of "flack" about the length of dresses we allow her to wear. She loves the princess things and every time we are at the store I "get" to tell her why we don't have them or why we don't wear those sorts of things. I think it's sad that we need to train them at such a young age about the way we dress and why. She is three - soon to be four. Our son who is five - soon to be six - is on board with the boys looking like boys and girls looking like girls until the girls are in the bathroom for a long time playing with hair, then he want to be part of it so we find a different way to bring him into the fun time we are having. *smile* He gets to read us a book or tell us a story. *smile* He also gets to use the hair things as tools to do different things. *smile* He likes that. Just wants to be with his girls. *smile* It seems odd, because it's not the way we were raised, but my beloved and I are teaching our children that there are things girls do and things that boys do and that with the two of them working as a team rather than competeing the home runs smoothly. *smile* This is how Christ outlined it and it's the way we hope to modle for our little ones as we teach them about Christ. Just as teaching doesn't just happen in the schools God isn't just in the Church, he's everywhere and we must show that to our little blessings that have been entrusted in our care. *smile* Have a blessed day and thank you once again for sharing where you are on your journey to becoming the lady God would have you be. *smile* Sincerely, Mommy of two little blessings & so much more!

  9. This was a blessing. I am just starting to make my own skirts because as you said, I can't find modest ones in the stores. It was encouraging to hear you journey to this point is similar to mine. Thanks for sharing this.

    Have a blessed day!

  10. This is interesting. I dress modestly, though not in skirts all the time. I am interested in seeing what sort of clothing you wear, if you don't mind posting pictures. I find skirts get in the way, for things like gardening. Also, what do you wear in summer? I like wearing loose clothing, especially sweatshirts, but in summer some things are just too warm. Thanks, Justine

  11. Mommy of Two Little Blessings, you are very blessed and what a treasure to have such a God centered home! Thank you for sharing!

    Most of what we wear can can be seen at www.thekingsdaughters.com. I will do my next post on this very subject and include pictures. Our taste in fabrics are very simple, we do wear some prints, but mostly we like pretty fabric with no prints on them. We do wear a few jean skirts with simple tops....plain colored t-shirts, sweaters etc. We actually prefer dresses in the garden and overall because we don't care for waistbands, we like certain kinds of dresses that have fuller skirts for easier movement and loose clothing, but not so loose that it runs into the big and baggy look. We have also found some very pretty and functional dresses on Ebay....under the search of Mennonite or Amish. You will find a variety of simple dresses as a result. This type of search will come up with cape dresses, which we also like and have a few of, but a lot of women don't find them modern enough. We also find great buys at the second hand shops. For instance, our daughters jean overall dress was getting too short so I ran by the second hand store, picked up three skirts with fabric that complimented each other and cut them into tiers and sewed them together. I'll post pictures of it. Our tastes are generally not too modern, but that is our taste. We like the old fashioned, feminine dresses like the prairie dresses, jumpers, and skirts. There are some simple patterns that can be made with bright springy material that are very nice and refreshing amongst all of the "bling bling". Thank you for bringing my attention to the fact that I should post some ideas! Also, check out the inspiring women at www.homestead-blessings.com and their styles.

  12. I do agree with you that modesty is important and it can be hard to find modest clothing in stores, but it is possible. I don't think it's really fair to say that if you shop at Wal-Mart or the mall you will look like a prostitute.

    Many women cannot afford to sew their own clothing, or to order custom made "modest" dresses at $40-60 each. if you look for simple, tasteful clothes, then you can put together a simple, modest wardrobe even from Wal-Mart or the mall.

    I know this because my modesty standards are skirts or dresses well below my knees, tops higher than 3 fingers below my collarbone, and nothing clingy or formfitting. Probably 30-40% of my clothes are from WalMart, with the rest being from Kmart, Cato, Avenue, JC Penney, or other "mall" stores. I just can't justify spending 3-4 times as much (or more, since I shop sale racks) just to wear the styles that are in fashion with the blogosphere.

  13. You are right Raine, it is possible, but it is like looking for a needle in the haystack where we live. And the local chain stores, including Wal-Mart, are too busy following the latest teen idol and vampire movie to offer what I consider to be good quality feminine, and modest clothing. I realize we all have different levels of taste and opinion when it comes to this. The other factor here is that we stick to a basic 3 or 4 dresses and 1 or 2 skirts that make up our wardrobe. Since we can only wear one item at a time, we feel it isn't necessary to have a closet full of clothes. A few dresses are for church or a town day and the others are for chores. We have searched for skirts at JC Penney's that are mid calf length and every time we check, we are told they don't carry anything like that. I'm sure good things can and are found on occasion at local stores, but the main theme and trend circles around commercial printed clothing and immodest fashions. One of my problems with "seeking out" proper clothing in local stores is that I loathe shopping. All the commercialism is mind numbing and I'd rather be at home taking care of my family rather than wasting time searching high and low for something decent to wear. Having said all of that, this is merely my opinion and how we conduct our lives. I realize we all have our own way of how we do things and how we like to spend our time. It sounds like you are more than able to find feminine and modest clothing and that you probably are a more patient shopper than I. Thank you for your comment and for addressing some key points :o)

  14. I know this is an older post, but I just found your site. I have boys and finding shirts at walmart is very hard, not because they aren't modest, but because they are full of skulls, bone and pictures of death and evil looking things. It's like the world is exploding with as much filth and wickedness it can handle. Thanks for your words of encouragement. The Lord has been talking to me about my wardrobe.

  15. Welcome Vintage Girl! Our boys are in their mid to late 20's now. They grew up in the Ninja Turtle generation, which transformed into other crazy things as they grew older. It was just as hard then as it is now to find clothes that didn't display sarcasm or the latest trend. I understand what you are facing. You seem to have a much better handle on sewing than I do.....I love to sew, but everything else seems to come first, especially homeschooling when sewing isn't the homeschooling project :)

    Your blog is beautiful! Beautiful pictures and I really like your white 40's dress! So simple and elegant. Your Americauna rooster looks just like ours!

    Thank you for stopping by!


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